Looking beyond labels

Golden Domes and Silver Lanterns by Hena Khan is a beautiful book that provides a child’s eye view of Muslim culture.  The book has received several positive reviews and honors, but it still managed to spark a social media controversy when children’s book author and former educator Kate Messner recommended it to her Twitter followers.

The School Library Journal article about the incident quotes Messner as saying that the Twitter user who took issue with her recommendation, then using the handle “atheistactuary,” seemed to have “set up a search for  Islam, and made it their mission to seek out anyone that had something positive to say about the religion.”  Messner, for her part, maintained a diplomatic tone throughout the exchange.  She promoted diversity and openness in her original post, and she didn’t back down from that in a multi-day back and forth with this Twitter user who seemed intent on painting all Muslims as terrorists, misogynists, or otherwise dangerous.

I can’t be alone in thinking that this controversy shows why books like Golden Domes and Silver Lanterns are important.  We need to humanize people who are different if we want to raise kids who are willing to see beyond their own experiences to make the world a better place.  To see people as individuals rather than as a label full of our preconceived notions.

While I have made no secret of my non-belief–thus making me an atheist or agnostic depending on your definitions of the words–I do believe in people.  I prefer to wear “Humanist” over “atheist” most of the time since that puts people first.  It emphasizes values over beliefs, and that’s important to me.  The specifics of my beliefs about the universe are less important than my values of openness and diversity.

I suppose I am still glowing with a cooperative spirit after reading Chris Stedman’s Faitheist, which encourages non-religious people to get involved in interfaith activism.  It was hugely inspiring, and it has motivated to me to share this specific message: not all atheists are like the Twitter user in this incident.  Please don’t use this as a reason to add to the already strong prejudice against the non-religious.   We are people beyond our label just like Muslims, Christians, and others.  We are as committed to the common good as anyone else.

No matter what your religious affiliation (or none at all), do check out Golden Domes and Silver Lanterns as a way to open a conversation about another culture with young children.  The lush illustrations portray every day life in a Muslim family.  It builds understanding without preaching, and I recommend it highly.  Teen readers might find Growing Up Muslim by Sumbul Ali-Karamali or Does My Head Look Big in This? by Randa Abdel-Fattah provide a similar glimpse into Muslim culture.

Check out my For Secular Families page for more posts about children’s books related to religion to promote a people-first perspective in your family no matter what you believe.

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April Book Pick: The Fairy Ring by Mary Losure

Do you believe in fairies?  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle did.  The man best known for creating the greatest fictional detective of all time, Sherlock Holmes, but he also wrote a book called The Coming of the Fairies.  Twin Cities writer Mary Losure came across The Coming of the Fairies book in a local independent book store and became intrigued with the story of the Cottingley Fairies featured in Doyle’s book.  Two young girls apparently photographed the fairies, and these photos were seen as proof of the existence of fairies by some.  A photograph is proof, right?  In the 1920′s, cameras were still a pretty new technology.  Not many people had the equipment to take a photo much less alter a negative to create a fake photo.  Still, it was hard for many people to believe.

The Fairy Ring by Mary Losure explores the story behind the photographs.  It is a fascinating piece of narrative nonfiction that looks at how a hoax might begin very innocently and spiral out of control quickly.  It is written for kids (middle school age, primarily), but I recommend this book even beyond that audience.  After all, we live in a world of fake photos and fake news and hoaxes of every sort.  Sometimes the fakes are easy to spot.  But sometimes they are much more difficult.  It might seem impossible to kids that these photos were ever taken as proof of fairies, but we’ve probably all been taken in by some online hoax at some point.  This is a book that will have you thinking about proof and asking yourself: Would I have believed?

Mary Losure’s newest book, for which I am on a library waiting list, is called Wild Boy.  It was recently featured of the Daily Circuit.

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Did you miss last month’s Book Pick?  Check it out: The Burgess Boys by Elizabeth Strout

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Thursday 3: Great Read-alouds for Families

Recently I was in a bookstore.  You might not think that sounds like news, but it’s actually pretty rare.  Between working for a book company and being a regular library user, I don’t get to bookstores very often.  My daughter went directly to a spinning rack of easy readers with her favorite characters on the covers while I stood in the entrance to the children’s area taking in the view of all the books I have yet to read.  Frankly, it was even more overwhelming than the stack(s) of advance reading copies that are always piled on my desk at work or on the book cart that lives in my cube.  I mean, at least those books aren’t even published yet.  Here were all sorts of books old and new that either I want to read myself or that I want to read with my daughter.

Here’s the question that occurred to me as I stood there taking in all the books: How do you choose what to read with your kids?  It’s my job to know the good books, and I still felt overwhelmed.

In case anyone else out there is feeling overwhelmed, I thought I’d share a few recommendations for family read-alouds.

• Toys Go Out by Emily Jenkins – There are many, many books about toys that are secretly alive, but this book is near the top of that mountainous stack.  It’s funny and often insightful.  Not to mention, there’s the mystery of what Plastic could possibly be.  Why it Works as a Read-Aloud: There’s something about this book that appeals to a wide age-range, so for families with multiple kids of various ages, this is one you can enjoy reading with your preschooler and your primary grader.  
• Violet Mackerel’s Remarkable Recovery by Anna Branford – I discovered this book at work and brought home the ARC to read to my five-year-old daughter.  We loved it!  Violet Mackerel is a delightful character with big ideas and creative problem solving.  We tracked down the first book in the series at the library, and we will likely keep up with the series.  Why it Works as a Read-Aloud: There are several instances of characters bursting into song that can be fun if you are willing to get into the spirit.  Also, the chapters are pretty short, so it isn’t a huge time commitment to read a bit when you can.
• The Cheshire Cheese Cat: A Dickens of a Tale by Carmen Agra Deedy – A cat who likes cheese who teams up with a bunch of mice to get what he wants?  It’s kind of silly, but it’s a lot of fun.  Why it Works as a Read-Aloud: There’s humor, wordplay, and references to Dickens and other British writers.  Some of it will go above the kids’ heads, but there’s a lot they will like here too.

Need more recommendations?  Check out this Family Reading Guide I created for a parenting group I attended.  Or the condensed version I handed out at the zine fest last year.

What have you been reading with your kids?  What have been some of your favorite read-alouds?

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Thursday 3: Getting Ready for Easter

I’m excited for Easter this year because my daughter will spend it with us rather than with her grandparents.  My parents usually have Ladybug spend her Spring Break with them, and last year it meant that she was there for Easter.  We still celebrated Spring officially at the May Day Festival like we always do, but Easter passed by without any colored eggs or baskets or bunnies.  This year, I’d like to make up for that.  After the winter we’ve had (are still having, it seems), we will be celebrating every spring related holiday we can find.   Our plans so far include a family lunch and fancy clothes  because it’s time to come out of our winter hibernation, dress up, and enjoy the weather–even if it doesn’t really feel quite like spring yet. :)

In preparation for the festivities, we have been reading, of course.  Here are our picks:

Pictured:

Chester’s Colorful Easter Eggs by Therese Smythe – A good choice to read before coloring eggs for the first time perhaps.  Cute and colorful picture book for preschoolers.

The Story of the Easter Bunny by Katherine Tegen – Ever wonder where the Easter Bunny comes from?  Here’s a possibility.  I don’t think it’s canon or anything, but it’s a sweet story.  And it’s fun to speculate about the bunny’s back story.

Minerva Louise and the Colorful Eggs by Janet Morgan Stoeke – Simple story for the very young about the silly hen who never seems to know what’s going on, which is a big factor in kid humor as I’ve written about before.

You can read about our last Easter celebration (from 2011) here, complete with our spring related book picks from back then.

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Did you miss last week’s Thursday 3 on my photo blog?  3 Funny Graphic Novels for Kids

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Our Digital Life

It’s official.  My daughter, age 5, now has a digital device of her very own.  Granted, it’s just an old hand-me-down iPod Touch with a few games on it.  But  still, there’s a part of me that feels weird about dedicating a device to her use with all the talk in parenting circles about limiting screen time.  Not to mention the fact that we’re a tech-oriented family already.  I’m not sure I’m ready to add another generation in the digital mix.

There are about a million lists of do’s and don’t's for families navigating screen time issues, but I’m more inclined to look to books for advice.  I think you might be surprised at what you can learn from picture books, even if you’re a not a kid.  Like Matthew Cordell’s Hello!  Hello!, for example.  In this picture book, everyone is too busy with whatever gadget to say anything but a distracted hello to the little girl who is restless and sick of her own electronic options.

Until the girl is beckoned outside by a little leaf

From there the book explodes with color and imagination as the girl and her family say hello to what they’ve been missing.  It may sound a bit over the top or message-y, but the story is wry enough to transcend what might have been preachy.  Instead of rolling my eyes at yet another guilt-inducing admonishment to put down my smartphone, I was smiling, nodding, and looking around.  Asking myself, what have I been missing while glued to my device?

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d say a book like this is more effective than a list of the ways that screen time is bad for families any day of the week.  There’s only one rule on my list of do’s and don’t's: Read picture books.

Okay, two rules: Read picture books and take their advice.

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Reading Hands Can with one hand

I am very pleased to say that Hands Can by Cheryl Willis Hudson is now available in paperback.  This picture book was first published ten years ago, and it has become a preschool favorite.  The bright colors, simple rhyme, and real-life photographs make it a good choice for 2-6 year-olds learning about their bodies and celebrating all the cool stuff they can do.  Not to mention it is great for talking about what it is like to have one hand with little kids.

That might seem like an odd thing to say because there are no one-handed kids in the book, but I have found this book to be a great jumping off point as I talk to kids because they tend to be most curious about the basics.   For example, these are real questions I have gotten from kids:

• “How do you hug?”
• “How do you put pajamas on?”
• “Can you hold hands?”

A peek inside Hands Can

Most adults can see obvious answers to these questions, but younger kids (under age 7 or so in my own personal experience) have a hard time working through these questions without guidance.  This is where Hands Can comes in.  I like to take each activity photographed in the book as a brainstorming session.  From the very first page with the little boy waving hello, I ask for other ways we say hello.  Kids can give creative answers.  After all, we might use our voice, our eyes, one hand, or maybe two if we are very excited.  I might demonstrate how I tie my shoes when we get to that page or have them come up with ways to accomplish other tasks with one hand or some other physical restriction for an exercise in problem solving.

In the spirit of answering questions about what I can do, I thought I would answer the one question that doesn’t really get asked: “Is there anything you can’t do with one hand?” Most people probably assume there are lots and lots of things I can’t do, but there are surprisingly few.  It took me a while to come up with these, but here are three things that are difficult (not impossible) to do with my prosthetic arm (and my work-arounds) :

• Grinding pepper.  For a long time, I just bought ground pepper so that I didn’t have this problem, but my husband is a bit of a foodie who likes things like freshly ground pepper, which means that peppering my food becomes a much more difficult task than it had been in the past.  Usually I just ask for help, but I have been coveting the battery operated pepper grinder at my mother-in-law’s house.  Technology, for the win! 
• Ziploc bags.  These are difficult because my prosthesis does not grip tightly enough to hold the bag while I am zipping it closed.  To get around this, I can secure the bag against something and zip.  In a pinch, I have been known to use my teeth.  It isn’t classy, but it gets to job done.
• Headphones/ear muffs.  I can put on headphones or ear muffs well enough, but I feel like I look a little silly when I do it because my fake arm doesn’t bend all the way to my ear.  Fortunately, I really don’t use either of these things very often.  As you might imagine, I was an early adopter of ear buds.

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For more information see my FAQ about my fake arm or this article in Book Links magazine about the books I use to talk about my disability.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.  A portion of any purchases made from these links may benefit this blog.  Thanks for your support! :)

Princess Talk

I have a five year-old girl in my life, and it follows seemingly inevitably that princesses are also a part of my life. This is hardly the first time I’ve brought up princesses on this blog, and among parents of girls, the topic has been covered again and again.  Still we can never seem to resist a chance to talk princess with other parents, whether we love them or hate them.  So I listened eagerly (and added my two cents) to the MPR segment which had two dads giving their take on princess culture.

As an aside, does it seem like more dads are talking about parenting these days?  I hope so.  Parenting doesn’t have to be such a girls club.

Anyway, I think it was a caller who brought up the idea of redirecting the princess obsession with a little reality. Princesses don’t just wear pretty dresses and go to balls, and your young daughter might not have quite the same view of royal life after learning more about real princess life.  For the parents who decide to go that route (more power to you!), here are a couple of picture books you might want to slip into your bedtime story rotation:

 

A peek inside Princess in Training

The Princess and the Peas by Caryl Hart – When Lili-Rose May won’t eat her peas the doctor declares that she must be a princess, so they send her off to the castle.  She’s very excited until she learns all the work that comes along with being a princess, and eating peas back home with her family doesn’t seem so bad after all.  (This might also be a good choice for picky eaters.)

Princess in Training by Tammi Sauer – Princess Viola just wants to be the darling of her kingdom, but she is no good at princess stuff like waving and dancing.  Her parents send her to Camp Princess to learn everything she needs to know.  Only she ends up saving the day with her non-princess skills and becoming the darling of her kingdom anyway.  (This one is a favorite in my house.)

Maybe one of these will change the perception of princesses in your house or at least vary the story up a bit.  Either way good luck to you.

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Choosing Kind

When I first read Wonder by R.J. Palacio, I had no idea how popular it would become. Frankly, I was distracted by my disappointment that it hadn’t been published in time to include in my article about books that explore physical differences.  I blogged about for my employer twice (naming it a “promising bloom” here and mentioning the multiple narrator device here), and it’s come up this blog at least once that I remember.

Since then it has become a bit of a phenomenon.  There was award buzz, a hashtag, and a whole movement surrounding this book.  And it’s moving beyond kids: in the UK, there is an adult/all ages version of the book on shelves.  I’m happy whenever you get adults to consider young people’s point of view by getting them to read children’s books, but this book in particular, I’d like to push into the hands of the general public.  It is an opportunity to see out so many difference eyes, to see why people make the choices they do, and what the consequences of those choices might be.  The best way to get people to make kind choices is to share stories like this one.

If I haven’t convinced you to read it yet, perhaps the book’s trailer will do so:

Kindness is an all ages choice, and this book spans a wide range of ages, as I mentioned.  But for those with preschoolers or primary graders looking to explore kindness and empathy, try one of these:

• Fairy Goes A-Marketing - this is a picture book version of a poem about a fairy who sets her caged animals free or gives away she things to help others.
• Say Hello - Explores the feeling of being left out and encourages kids to include everyone.
• Jamaica’s Blue Marker - Jamaica doesn’t want to share her markers with Russell until she learns to look at why he acts so mean at school.
• Each Kindness - A new girl starts at Chloe’s school, but she won’t play with her.  It is only after the new girl has moved again that Chloe realizes she could have been kinder to Maya.  
  
• A Home for Bird – A little frog goes to great lengths to help a new friend find a home.

These books are great for starting discussions, but in all honesty, any story will do.  In the words of Pulitzer Prize winning author Jane Smiley:

“Reading fiction is and always was practice in empathy — learning to see the world through often quite alien perspectives, learning to understand how other people’s points of view reflect their experiences.”

Wonder stands out because it is the story of someone who is very different and it explores the choices we make when faced with difference, but I believe that fiction can create a kinder world if we let it.

Please, choose kind.

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Cold Snap

My buses have been all but empty this past week.  Nicollet Mall usually bustles with activity, but this week, the only people downtown are the ones huddled in bus shelters peeking out with hopeful looks or walking quickly with only their eyes showing against the fierce wind. In a cold snap, the city gets quiet and lonely.

On my way to work, winter is harsh winds, icy sidewalks, and heavy snow.  But at my desk surrounded by children’s books, winter is quite different.  The snow is delicate and perfect for play. The ice and wind are no match for us in a children’s book.  If only I could live in Toby Mills, the town in Eileen Spinelli’s Cold Snap.  Their winter is awfully cold, but it is warm with nostalgia and community.  This is a town that knows, the only way to get through a cold winter is to come together.

For all of you braving the cold Minnesota days for the rest of the winter, when it feels like too much, read a picture book.  Try Cold Snap.  Or if that doesn’t boost your spirits, try A Perfect Day by Carin Beger for a wonder-filled exploration  of a snowy winter day.  It will help you to remember that winter is more than hopeful looks and speed-walking to warmth.

I can’t change the sub-zero temperatures we’ve had recently, but I can change how I see them.  It’s still cold out there, but I’m smiling anyway.

There is more snowy picture book art at 7 Imp, and I talk more about the above books at Books in Bloom.  A few photos here on my photo blog, or check out some really beautiful shots of a Minnesota winter from Minnesota Public Radio.

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The Night Before Christmas

The blog has been unexpectedly quiet for the past week, and I apologize for that.  I had a few holiday posts planned, but I wasn’t quite able to make them happen.  Part of that is the busy-ness that is December in our family.  We hit the cascade of holidays in the middle of the month with my daughter’s birthday (I now have a 5 year-old!), and it was followed quickly by our wedding anniversary (8 years!).  Now, of course, it’s Christmas Eve.  We have full days planned today and tomorrow, but right now I’m waiting for my cookies to cool and I wanted to share one book related aspect of our holiday that I thought my readers might appreciate.

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse”

I knew those opening lines to this classic poem, but I didn’t know the rest of it until last year when I found a picture book version to read with my daughter on Christmas Eve.  I wanted to do the same this year, so I went looking for another picture book only to find that there are approximately eleventy billion versions of this poem for kids.  I decided to let my kidlit-geek colors show (and bring my daughter along with me into kidlit geekiness).  We checked out as many library copies of “The Night Before Christmas” as we could get our hands on in the weeks before Christmas.  I apologize to any other Hennepin County Library users who wanted one of these books.  We didn’t mean to hog them all.  We were doing very important literary comparison. :)

Here are the results of our survey:

• Most of the picture books we looked at took us back to the time and the place when the poem was written (late 1800′s New England), and it was interesting to have my daughter look for similarities and differences in the setting–and to talk about the ways that life was different then.  We liked Tomie De Paola’s version for its old fashioned charm.

Tomie De Paola’s version

• My daughter especially liked looking for the ways that the illustrations diverged from the text.  For example, the text refers to the mom wearing a ‘kerchief, but in some of the books she appears to be wearing a bonnet, at least that’s what it looked like to my 5 year-old.  Also, the poem has Santa filling the stockings and leaving, but a couple of the books we looked at had him also leaving presents under the tree.

• There were also the times when the illustrations took the text more literally than expected, like in Tasha Tudor’s version in which Santa is “miniature.”  He actually looks like a little elf himself, which surprised us.

Tasha Tudor’s elfin Santa

• I have read there was some controversy about whether a children’s book should mention Santa’s pipe or include that in the illustrations even though it is in the text of the poem, but all of the books we perused did have the pipe and the “smoke that encircled his head like a wreath” except the Christopher Wormell version.

Christopher Wormell’s wood cut illustrated version

• Not that it was a contest, but the winners from my daughter’s perspective seemed to be the books that were quite different.  Rachel Isadora’s African version generated the most discussion and kept my girl’s interest longer than the others.  Until we discovered Mary Engelbreit’s version, which is too adorable for words.  It was by far the most kid-friendly version we read, and my daughter’s preference showed.  And why not?  It has elfin fairies following Santa around as helpers, even cleaning up after his sooty footprints.

Rachel Isadora’s African version

Mary Engelbreit’s adorable fairy elves

Do you read the poem with your kids?  What is your favorite picture book version to share?

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More Christmas related books are in this post, if you missed it.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.  All books mentioned were library copies.