How to ask a question

Questions are a big part of my life.  Not only am I a librarian, a career that has a particular focus on helping people answer questions, but also I’m a person with a visible physical difference–not to mention the assistive device I wear.  I live with curiosity, and I’ve decided to encourage it.

its-ok-to-ask-thumbIf you’ve been reading this blog for a while, this isn’t news.  I’ve talked a lot about the questions people ask and the way that I answer them.  Here are just a few posts on the topic:

  • It’s Okay to Ask – Features a new picture book that encourages young kids to feel comfortable asking about disabilities and see beyond them.
  • My Day at School – Reflections on not being able to blend in when I visit my daughter’s classroom for the day.
  • Storytime Reflections – I was a special guest at a storytime at a public library, and I got some great questions from the kids and parents in the audience.

I have gotten questions of all sorts.  Some quite rude, most just hesitant and awkward.  I answer them all as best I can.  Not long ago, though, a little girl asked me about my prosthetic arm in the nicest way possible, and I just had to share.  She said, “I like your arm.  Can you tell me about it?”

It doesn’t get better than that. :)

Start with a book

I have been thinking a lot recently about what it means to be an ally to people of color or other marginalized groups.  I’ve been seeking out commentary about what someone like me can do to make the world a better place for everyone.  I don’t have all the answers, but I would like to amplify the words of children’s author/poet Nikki Grimes.  She writes:

“Instead of looking the other way while hatred takes root in young hearts and minds, why not try this: Plant the seeds of empathy. Teach the young to feel the heartbeats of races and cultures other than their own. Replace any possible fear of the unknown, with knowledge of the knowable. Teach them the ways in which we humans are more alike than we are different. Teach them that the most important common denominator is the human heart. Start with a book.

Give young readers books by and about peoples labeled ‘other.’ I’m not talking about one or two books, here and there. I’m talking about spreading diverse books throughout the curriculum, beginning in elementary grades, and continuing through to high school. Why? Because racism is systemic and teaching empathy, teaching diversity, needs to be systemic, too.”

I agree wholeheartedly.  Perhaps one of these books will be a good place for you to start:

marketstreet_bg onefamily iamtheworld

Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña, One Family by George Shannon, and I am the World by Charles R. Smith.

But don’t stop there.  Keep reading diverse stories and talking about them with kids.  We will change the world one story at a time.

Read More:

Speaking of wishes…

wishDandelions are not the only way to make a wish.  Some people wish with kites or feathers.  Candles or weasels. Yes, weasels.  Roseanne Greenfield Thong shares wish traditions from around the world in her picture book Wish. Some will be familiar–like the little boy with the dandelion on the cover of Something Extraordinary–and others will be new to young readers.  But there is something enchanting about all the different ways to make a wish.

Middle grade novels are the real place to find wishes, it seems.

dreamerSome are magical like Dreamer, Wisher, Liar by Charise Mericle Harper, which featured a jar of wishes written on paper that transported Ash to when the wishes were made.  This sweet middle grade novel about friendship, mothers & daughters, and secrets.  I’ve actually mentioned it on this blog before in a post about mother-daughter connections.

waitingforunicornsOthers are searching for magic. Like Waiting for Unicorns by Beth Hautala, which is about grief and healing.  After her mother’s death, Talia wishes she could say goodbye to her one last time, and she latches on to the idea of wishing on a unicorn like in a story her mother once told her.  The writing is beautiful, and the story is sad but hopeful.

wishgirlThen there are the wishes that we make come true.  In Wish Girl by Nikki Loftin, Annie tells Peter that she is a “wish girl,” and he thinks she means magic.  Really, she is a Make-a-Wish girl because she is very sick. The story, however, is not without its own magic as Peter and Annie bond over sharing their wishes.

We wish for all sorts of reasons and in all sorts of ways.  Some of our wishes come true and some don’t.  In the end, I think that all of these books share the idea that what is important is connecting with people–friends, family, community.  The next time you blow out birthday candles or drop coins into a fountain, think about these stories and the people you love most.

Something Extraordinary

something-extraordinaryThere is something extraordinary about a wish. A wish can set your imagination free and open up possibilities.  Sometimes those wishes even come true, though perhaps they’ve always been true.  Perhaps what is happening around us is as wonderful as all the things we can imagine.

That is what I took away from Ben Clanton‘s new picture book, Something Extraordinary.  I have to admit to a particular weakness for picture books that encourage readers to slow down, observe the world closely, and appreciate it, and this book certainly falls into that category.

But I also love the idea that wishes do come true, and that our world is more vivid when we take the time to notice what is happening around us.

Read more about the book:

 

Everyone’s Favorite Beatle

Blackbird-Fly-200x300“I wondered who his favorite Beatle was. Probably Paul.  Grown-ups always seemed to like Paul the best.” — Apple Yengko in Blackbird Fly by Erin Entrada Kelly

Apple’s favorite Beatle is George, but “Blackbird” written by Paul is her favorite song.  Maybe because she would like to fly away from her life in which she isn’t pretty enough or American enough for the girls at school.  Whatever the reason, it’s worth a listen now no matter who your favorite Beatle happens to be.

I have admitted my pop culture ignorance on this blog before, but I’ll share it again for those who missed it: I would not have recognized a Beatles song until I was in my twenties.  But I have since become a big fan.  As Apple says, “Once you listen to the Beatles, you can’t go back.” I’m not sure I have a favorite Beatle, but I do think most of my favorite Beatles songs are on the Blackbird Fly playlist.

If you have ever felt like music just might save your life, Blackbird Fly is for you.  Share this book with middle schoolers who appreciate realistic stories about fitting in and making friends.  If Apple’s enthusiasm for the music doesn’t make Beatles fans out of the kids who read this book, I don’t know what will.

Thursday 3: The Near-Future in YA Fiction

NearFuture

 

The Hunger Games and Divergent offer a couple of possible futures for humanity, but they are set in well established futures that are removed from our world by an indeterminate number of years.  What about the near future?

In these three books, teens take on a world that’s kind of like ours but with a “what if?” at the center of the story.

What if an extreme religion took over?  In Vivian Apple at the End of the World by Katie Coyle, it doesn’t take long for the Church of America to become ubiquitous.  Vivian isn’t a believer in the predicted Rapture, but when her parents (and a lot of other people) disappear, she is determined to find out what happened.

What if a bank took over when the economy went really bad? That’s what happens in Hit by Delilah Dawson.  Too much debt? You just might become an indentured servant of Valor National Bank.

What if you could choose to forget? More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera is the least futuristic of any of these books, but the marketing material for this book sets it in a “near-future summer in the Bronx.”  In this future, there is a way to erase memories, and Aaron thinks that might be a way for him to forget a part of himself he doesn’t want to acknowledge.

Can you think of any others to add to this list?

A Doll Like Me

dollslikemeI don’t think I would have appreciated a “doll like me” when I was young enough to play with dolls, but I still wish I had had one.

I occasionally saw toys that attempted to represent kids with differences on display at clinics.  There were dolls with hearing aids, stuffed animals wearing braces, and others.  I never saw any with a limb deficiency or a prosthesis like mine, and I was glad because I was mortified at the thought of my parents getting me a disability doll.

I’m not sure I gave it much thought at the time.  I was an introspective kid, but when it came to the toys I liked, I mostly went by feeling.  My feeling was pretty strong that I didn’t want anything “special.” I knew that I felt just like other kids.  I felt totally normal, and so I felt I should have the same toys from the same stores  as other kids.  Not special ordered through a clinic.

I didn’t want to talk about my arm or answer questions about it. Like most kids, I wanted to talk about the things I loved, the things made me me.  My physical difference felt like a distraction from the me I was inside.  Why would I want a toy that emphasized it?

I still understand those feelings, but I’ve thought a lot more about it in the years since I stopped playing with dolls.  I’ve considered issues of representation and identity as they relate to the media kids are consuming and the toys that kids are playing with on a much deeper level than I did when I was eight.  I’ve thought about what it means to have one’s identity erased from public view, and I’ve felt the thrill–yes, I do mean to use that strong of a word–of seeing a usually invisible part of myself represented in the media. Not to mention, I’ve had enough people say “That’s weird” when I say that I was born without an arm to know how important being visible really is.

It took me a long time to realize that I didn’t have to blend in or erase parts of myself to be considered normal.  I just had to move past the obstacle.  I’ve said before: sometimes talking about things makes them less of an issue.  That certainly has been the case for me.

It is because of my childhood feeling of wanting to avoid being special that I am excited about Toys Like Me.  I felt normal, and I wanted normal toys.  So let’s normalize me.  Let’s normalize all sorts of different bodies and experiences for our kids.  Makies, a company that makes customizable dolls, is taking suggestions.  What do you want to see?  Let them know.

Perhaps if I’d had a doll like me when I was a kid, I wouldn’t have spent so long trying to be invisible.

Thursday 3: Kid Picks

Kid PicksI spend a lot of time on this blog talking about children’s books that I like, which are not always the ones that kids are most drawn to.  I tend to like (and have something to say about) books that are more serious or on Big Important Topics.  But children’s books are not all serious or factual.  There are plenty of “just for fun” books.  I just don’t often have a whole post worth of stuff to say about those. ;)

So I thought I would let my focus group of one (my seven-year-old daughter) share some books that she liked and what she liked about them.

Here goes:

No Dogs Allowed (Series: Ready, Set, Dogs!) by Stephanie Calmenson – Best friends, dogs, and cute adventures all come together in this chapter book aimed at 2nd/3rd graders.  What my daughter liked about it: Girls transforming into dogs.  The whole concept made for interesting conversation and really seemed to capture her imagination.

Welcome to Normal (Series: The Quirks) by Erin Soderberg – Everybody is quirky, but nobody is quite like the Quirk family.  They all have a “quirk” that makes them special and makes it hard to fit in.  What my daughter liked about it: The quirks.  Who wouldn’t want to imagine having some sort of special power?

Jelly Bean (Series: Shelter Pet Squad) by Cynthia Lord – This is a heartwarming story about a girl who loves animals and wants to make a difference.  It is worth noting here that this is an early chapter book by an award-winning author.  That’s unusual–and pretty awesome! What my daughter liked about it: Jelly Bean is sooo cute!

annikarizI guess the take-away here is that a book about cute animals or some kind of special ability is really the way to go for my kid.  ;)

While I’m on the subject, I’d like to give a special shout out to Annika Riz, Math Whiz by Claudia Mills. Thanks to that book, my daughter has gotten really excited about math and puzzles, especially sudoku.  We are looking forward to reading the next book in the series, Izzy Barr, Running Star.  I hope it has a similar inspirational effect! :)

What are your kids (or students) reading?

 

Raising a feminist?

Somewhere in my social media feed a link titled 18 Ways to Make Sure Your Child’s a Feminist caught my eye.  Of course I clicked.  And found myself nodding in agreement at the suggestions (Lead by example, challenge stereotypes, watch your language, etc) most of which are things I’m doing or trying to do.  The one that stood out to me, though, was number 15:

“15. Teach them about inspiring women who’ve changed the world. It wouldn’t be the same without Amelia Earhart, Rosa Parks, or Anne Frank, now would it?”

radamericanomenNow there are a lot of great biographies of women who have changed the world.  If you’re looking for a particular woman’s story, I’d be happy to recommend one to you.   But if you just want to share the idea that there are a lot of different women who have changed the world in a lot of different ways, I recommend Rad American Women A-Z.  Not only does this book share one page profiles of women like education activist Jovita Idar, artist Maya Lin, and journalist Nellie Bly among many others, but it also encourages young people to be rad in their own way.  What more could you ask for?

For me, the book was a mix of names and accomplishments I knew with more than a few that were new to me.  As I turned the pages, I found myself happily surprised by the inclusion of musicians and artists along with activists and scientists.  Soon, my seven-year-old daughter was peeking over my shoulder.  The bright colors and bold text grabbed her curiosity, and she started asking questions about the women on the pages.  Almost none of the names were familiar to her.

It occurred to me then that I need to be more intentional in making sure she sees what women have done (and are doing) to make a difference in our world.  This book is exactly what I need to get started.

 

radamerican

 

 

Thank you to City Lights Publishing for the review copy of this book.

Head Lice are not cute

headliceThe louse on the cover of Elise Gravel’s book is cute and friendly, but I can assure you from personal experience that head lice are not cute when you are picking them off your child’s head.  Not cute at all.  My feelings about that first awful little louse plucked from my child’s head were anything but friendly.

My thoughts went to laundry and combing and poison shampoos.  It was more than a little overwhelming. As the louse in Gravel’s book says, “I might be small, but to your parents, I’m scarier than a lion.”  So true.  There are various ways to deal with those horrible parasites, but we chose to call in the professionals.

At the Minnesota Lice Lady office, a whole team of ladies walk freaked out parents through the whole lousy business with patience and kindness.  They let us repeatedly ask for reassurance to their matter-of-fact statements.  Are you sure we don’t have to wash the bedding and quarantine the stuffed animals?  Are you sure we don’t have to comb every night for two weeks?  You are really offering a 60 day guarantee?  They did all the work, and we just watched and learned.  We learned enough the know that Gravel’s book, while adorable, perpetuates the myth that lice live in the environment and can be spread through sharing hats or clothes.  Check out the more Myths & Facts on the MN Lice Lady web site.

Now that I have had enough distance from the whole episode to think rationally about it, I can say that I highly recommend Minnesota Lice Lady if you ever find yourself in that unfortunate situation.  I even recommend Head Lice by Elise Gravel (despite the misconception noted above) because after all we’ve been through with those terrible little bugs, it is kind of funny to think of them as cute and friendly.  Gravel has a whole series of cute books about Disgusting Creatures that kids will probably love.

Note: This is not a sponsored post.  I genuinely appreciated MN Lice Lady’s services.  The book was a library book.